Eating Orange Peels

I work in a library and there is a no food or drink policy. A patron was walking over with an unpeeled orange in her hand. I went up to her and said, "Excuse me, there's no food allowed in the library." She pointed at the orange peels and said, "This isn't food!"

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Do You Have My Size?

One day, this 6 foot 5 inch middle aged transvestite, named Joe, strolls into my store in a beautiful blue floral sundress and asks me if we sell lace thongs big enough to support his junk.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Hooked and Caught

I was helping this old lady into the fitting room and I noticed that she decided to try on this black corset with 30 hooks up the back. I tried to get out of listening range so she couldnt call my name for help but she caught me. I walked into the fitting room and there she was, holding the corset on asking me to hook it up for her. I couldn't say no. I ended up assembling 30 hooks as my knuckles grazed her fat sweaty back so she could feel good about herself. And the worst part is, she didnt even buy it!

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Pregnant Beat Down

I was working with my co-worker and the manager on a busy Saturday afternoon. I was manning the front door, saying my hellos and folding t-shirts while my co-worker ran the register and the manager tended to the fitting rooms.

A woman comes in with her mom and they are shopping around and showed up to the fitting rooms with a huge stack of clothes to try on. Everything was fine until I heard some yelling. My pregnant and possibly bi-polar manager flipped out on this woman telling her something along the lines of "What did you just say to me? If you want we can take this outside! I will beat your a** b*tch! I get off at 4 and I will beat your a**!!!"

At this point, I picked my jaw up off the floor, then apologized to every customer for my manager's behavior as my co-worker had to run over and pull her back, tell her she's not acting right in public and to calm down before she gets fired!

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Leaving a Trail of Bread Crumbs

Around 7 PM an old woman walked into the store. She appeared to be like any other old woman shopping until she asked to use the restroom. I politely informed her that we didn't have one and redirected her to one nearby. She proceeded to the lingerie section and shortly after, I noticed a brown trail behind her that ran up her pant leg. I immediately told my manager and she called the Regional Manager for protocol on such a situation.

Instead of calling Waste Management, closing the store early and politely kicking the old woman out the store to get some Depends, we had to stay open for another hour and half, and then attempt to clean up the mess ourselves until someone showed up with a carpet shampooer.

Needless to say, the store smelled terrible for the next two weeks.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Found Treasure

While I was working the fitting room, I smelt something like fart. This happens often so I grabbed the air freshener and sprayed the entire place. As I was cleaning out a room for a customer, I found a plastic bag filled with poop tucked away in the corner.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

4...3...2... Gone!

After a customer was done trying on her clothes, she forgot to grab the number off of the doorknob of her fitting room. Store guidelines required that I had this number for every customer who used a fitting room to prevent theft. Instead of retrieving it, she showed me on her hand and four fingers that represented the number that was supposed to be on her door. I asked her politely to please wait while I went and grabbed the number for her, but when I returned, she was already gone.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Lost Competition

A customer stopped me and asked me where the skinny jeans were. I pointed her to the direction where it was. Next, she asked me if we had a specific brand name jeans. I don't work for a department store. I work for a competing brand name store.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Price Check

A customer came up to me with the price tag of one our merchandise and asked me how much the item was.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Needy

As part of the back to school campaign our store is promoting, we offer a discount on denim products for kids and adults. A customer came up to me and asked, "Are there any back to school promos?" I gladly pointed out all the big signs we had hanging all over the store. The customer replied, "That's it? There should be more than that."

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Demands

It was my first week at my new retail job. I was very enthusiastic and ready to help the customers. A big fat guy walked up to me and demanded I tell him where the men's capris were located. I wasn't aware that men even wore capris so I told him that all we had were cargo shorts. He then snapped at me and yelled, "I don't want shorts! I want MEN'S CAPRIS!!!!!!!!" I was lucky my manager was nearby to save me.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Buyer's Remorse

I'm a used car dealer. I found out I bought a used car that a guy died in. I found out by looking in the glove compartment and finding police files.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Makeshift Chair

I just finished perfectly board-folding a table full of sweaters. Not a minute passed after I was done, when a customer decided that the sweaters would provide as good cushioning for her oversized purse, pile of shopping bags, and her huge ass.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Photographic Memory

A customer told me she was looking for an item she saw in a picture. I asked her if it was in a magazine or in one of the pictures that we have displayed in the store. She said she saw it as an advertisement on a bus. I asked her if she could give me a better description of the garment since I have not seen the ad. She scoffed at me and walked away.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Pointing in the Right Direction

A customer came up to me, pointed at a garment hanging on a rack nearby and asked me how much it cost. I pointed at the big sign next to it that had a description of the garment and the price in bold.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Sneaking Food

There was an event near our ice cream shop and few coworkers and I were scheduled to work there. An hour after we started, my manager forced us to take our lunch break. We were forced to work the rest of our shift with no breaks or food and in the hot sun. Towards the end of our shift, we sent a coworker out to get us food. Before we could enjoy it, my manager showed up and yelled at us saying, "You guys have already taken your breaks! You shouldn't be eating anything!!!"

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Broken Record

A customer came up to me at the register asking me where to find the garment she was holding since she wanted a different size. I told her it was an old item and the last one we had, but she could try looking in the Sale Section. I also explained that the store doesn't keep any merchandise "in the back."

The customer asked me two more times, so I gave her the same response two more times. She either was in denial or she thought I was lying because she asked another coworker nearby the same question (who responded exactly the same).

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Epidemic

Today it was nice outside. Four coworkers called in "sick" and I had to close two big departments all by myself.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Logical Fallacy

A customer left his glasses in the fitting room. When he realized it was missing, he informed an associate about it. The associate went looking for it where the customer indicated he had left it and informed him it wasn't there. The customer responded, "But it's expensive!"

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Needle in a Haystack

A customer came up to me and informed me that she lost her jacket in the store. Her jacket was the same brand as the store's brand. I called lost and found and they said a jacket has not been turned in. I explained to the customer it would be easier to find the jacket once the store was closed and that she could call back in the morning. She then blew up at me and threw a fit; she wanted all the working sales associates to stop what they were doing to find her jacket.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Horrible Liar

A customer asked me if there was a public restroom. I informed her that there wasn't one in our store, but there were several stores nearby that had some. The customer got upset, stormed into the elevator, pulled her pants down, and peed leaving a huge puddle of urine.

As she peed, she realized there was a camera right in front of her documenting her every move. (What makes it better is that our elevator is covered in mirrors so Security has a full 360-view of her.) Before she left the store, she told another Sales Associate that she had spilled "coffee" in the elevator.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Bathroom Burglar

I had just started working at an ice cream store for a little over two weeks so I still hadn't met more than half of the staff. A couple entered the store - the female counterpart bee-lined straight to the back of the store and into the bathroom while her boyfriend passed the time and asked for samples. She was probably one of the many employees I hadn't met yet so I didn't think much of it. As I helped he boyfriend, I kept a watchful eye on the back room - just in case. She came out, thanked me, and then they both walked out. When I went to double-check on the bathroom, I noticed that my locker was open - my $180 video iPod was gone! I quickly ran into the street but they were no where to be found.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

A Lesson in Physics

A lady came in and ordered a two-scoop ice cream cone. I handed over her ice cream and she proceeded to pay by card but we only accept cash. She started to search through her purse, not realizing that she was slowing rotating her ice cream cone horizontally. Before I could say anything, the two scoops fell into her shirt and in-between her breasts!!! Of course, she demanded I give her a replacement. It isn't my fault you are not smart enough to hold an ice cream cone properly!

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

I <3 Ham

Me: Hello sir, what can I get you today?
Customer: I want a pizza.
Me: What would you like on your pizza?
Customer: Ham.
Me: What size?
Customer: Ham.
Me: Would you like your pizza round or square?
Customer: HAM!!!

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Hide and Seek

One day, my manager ran into the store and hid in the back. He told everyone who was working to inform anyone looking for him that he wasn't here. Apparently, he had just run over a black guy and took off.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Crazy Legs

There was a "regular" at our movie theater that we crowned "Crazy Legs" because he had a bad case of gangrene on his lower legs. The smell of his rotting fresh emanated from a radius of twenty feet. One day while the ushers were cleaning the theater he was in, they discovered that during the movie, Crazy Legs had peeled the rotting skin off his legs and left it in a nice pile on the floor.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.