Buyer's Remorse

I'm a used car dealer. I found out I bought a used car that a guy died in. I found out by looking in the glove compartment and finding police files.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Makeshift Chair

I just finished perfectly board-folding a table full of sweaters. Not a minute passed after I was done, when a customer decided that the sweaters would provide as good cushioning for her oversized purse, pile of shopping bags, and her huge ass.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Photographic Memory

A customer told me she was looking for an item she saw in a picture. I asked her if it was in a magazine or in one of the pictures that we have displayed in the store. She said she saw it as an advertisement on a bus. I asked her if she could give me a better description of the garment since I have not seen the ad. She scoffed at me and walked away.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Pointing in the Right Direction

A customer came up to me, pointed at a garment hanging on a rack nearby and asked me how much it cost. I pointed at the big sign next to it that had a description of the garment and the price in bold.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Sneaking Food

There was an event near our ice cream shop and few coworkers and I were scheduled to work there. An hour after we started, my manager forced us to take our lunch break. We were forced to work the rest of our shift with no breaks or food and in the hot sun. Towards the end of our shift, we sent a coworker out to get us food. Before we could enjoy it, my manager showed up and yelled at us saying, "You guys have already taken your breaks! You shouldn't be eating anything!!!"

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Broken Record

A customer came up to me at the register asking me where to find the garment she was holding since she wanted a different size. I told her it was an old item and the last one we had, but she could try looking in the Sale Section. I also explained that the store doesn't keep any merchandise "in the back."

The customer asked me two more times, so I gave her the same response two more times. She either was in denial or she thought I was lying because she asked another coworker nearby the same question (who responded exactly the same).

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Epidemic

Today it was nice outside. Four coworkers called in "sick" and I had to close two big departments all by myself.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Logical Fallacy

A customer left his glasses in the fitting room. When he realized it was missing, he informed an associate about it. The associate went looking for it where the customer indicated he had left it and informed him it wasn't there. The customer responded, "But it's expensive!"

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Needle in a Haystack

A customer came up to me and informed me that she lost her jacket in the store. Her jacket was the same brand as the store's brand. I called lost and found and they said a jacket has not been turned in. I explained to the customer it would be easier to find the jacket once the store was closed and that she could call back in the morning. She then blew up at me and threw a fit; she wanted all the working sales associates to stop what they were doing to find her jacket.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Horrible Liar

A customer asked me if there was a public restroom. I informed her that there wasn't one in our store, but there were several stores nearby that had some. The customer got upset, stormed into the elevator, pulled her pants down, and peed leaving a huge puddle of urine.

As she peed, she realized there was a camera right in front of her documenting her every move. (What makes it better is that our elevator is covered in mirrors so Security has a full 360-view of her.) Before she left the store, she told another Sales Associate that she had spilled "coffee" in the elevator.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Bathroom Burglar

I had just started working at an ice cream store for a little over two weeks so I still hadn't met more than half of the staff. A couple entered the store - the female counterpart bee-lined straight to the back of the store and into the bathroom while her boyfriend passed the time and asked for samples. She was probably one of the many employees I hadn't met yet so I didn't think much of it. As I helped he boyfriend, I kept a watchful eye on the back room - just in case. She came out, thanked me, and then they both walked out. When I went to double-check on the bathroom, I noticed that my locker was open - my $180 video iPod was gone! I quickly ran into the street but they were no where to be found.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

A Lesson in Physics

A lady came in and ordered a two-scoop ice cream cone. I handed over her ice cream and she proceeded to pay by card but we only accept cash. She started to search through her purse, not realizing that she was slowing rotating her ice cream cone horizontally. Before I could say anything, the two scoops fell into her shirt and in-between her breasts!!! Of course, she demanded I give her a replacement. It isn't my fault you are not smart enough to hold an ice cream cone properly!

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

I <3 Ham

Me: Hello sir, what can I get you today?
Customer: I want a pizza.
Me: What would you like on your pizza?
Customer: Ham.
Me: What size?
Customer: Ham.
Me: Would you like your pizza round or square?
Customer: HAM!!!

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Hide and Seek

One day, my manager ran into the store and hid in the back. He told everyone who was working to inform anyone looking for him that he wasn't here. Apparently, he had just run over a black guy and took off.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.

Crazy Legs

There was a "regular" at our movie theater that we crowned "Crazy Legs" because he had a bad case of gangrene on his lower legs. The smell of his rotting fresh emanated from a radius of twenty feet. One day while the ushers were cleaning the theater he was in, they discovered that during the movie, Crazy Legs had peeled the rotting skin off his legs and left it in a nice pile on the floor.

This is why I Work 2 Rant.